Collaborative Practice Marin
What Happens to My Inheritance in a Divorce?

The simple answer is the inheritance belongs to the person who inherits it.  It is their separate property.  However, as with most things, this question is not as simple as it may seem. 

Often inheritance comes in one form, say money, and is later used to purchase something else.  Or, sometimes, it comes in the form of personal property.  As an example, if your grandmother left you a piece of jewelry, that jewelry belongs to you and is your separate property.  However, if you sell that jewelry and use the money to, for example, contribute toward a down-payment of a house purchased with your spouse - what happens then?  Now the answer is not as simple.  

During the course of a marriage, people often make choices as to how they want to use their resources, often focusing on the needs of their family or partnership.  But, when it comes time to uncouple, they may rethink their prior choices.  People may also change their intentions when facing a divorce.  

If the inheritance was used to pay for living expenses, as example, that money is gone and unless you and your spouse agree otherwise, it would not be reimbursable.  

If you take your inheritance and use it to buy something with your spouse, you may be able to ask for a reimbursement of that contribution--if you and your spouse can agree or if you can effectively "trace" the use of the inheritance through records, such as canceled checks, that show the trail of the inheritance.  If you received an inheritance and you believe it was used to purchase something with your spouse during the marriage, the first step would be to review your records or obtain any records you don't have as soon as possible.  This will help you better understand your concerns so that you can consider how best to approach this in the process of your divorce.

 

Lissa Rapoport is an attorney practicing in Marin County.  You can learn more about her here:  http://www.collaborativepracticemarin.org/members/Rapoport

www.lpslaw.com

lrapoport@lpslaw.com


Photo credit: Ann Buscho, Ph.D.

Will Our Divorce Ruin Our Kids' Lives?

For most parents who decide to divorce the first concern is about not harming the children.  Maybe you went through your parents’ divorce and now you feel it negatively affected you.  Here are some points to know:

  • It can be difficult when you are going through a difficult time in your life to also have to consider that this change will be challenging to your children.  Their sadness and/or anger may be normal, but it may be especially worrisome or hard for you to deal with their feelings when you have your own painful feelings.
  • Over the past 35 years researchers have looked at how divorce impacts children over time.  And in general the research shows that children and teens, with the help and support of their parents, can be quite resilient and do well in their lives.  Divorce doesn’t have to ruin your child’s life.
  • Going through one’s parents’ divorce can certainly lead to a child’s distress and present new challenges.  However, your children’s relationships with their parents, and ongoing parental involvement in their lives contributes to your child’s ability and capacity to cope with the family changes and to move forward.  A warm nurturing relationship with each parent helps kids heal.
  • Even if the stress of your divorce is interfering with the quality of your parenting, we find that children, in the long run, can do quite well if their parents’ ability to parent recovers over the next year or two. 
  • The strength of the co-parenting relationship also can be very helpful to your children during this time and there are many resources provided in a Collaborative Divorce to optimize your co-parenting relationship, and benefit your children.  Research shows that kids do best when their parents end their own conflict and focus together on the children.
  • If you have concerns about your children, it will be important to consult a Child Specialist who can gather and provide information about your specific children and their specific needs for now and in the future.  A Child Specialist can also provide a wealth of information about the effects of divorce on kids at different ages, and how you can best support their resilience.
Andrew Lamden, LCSW, is a Collaborative Coach and Child Specialist in Marin County. http://www.collaborativepracticemarin.org/members/Lamden

Photo Credit: Ann Buscho, Ph.D.

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About Collaborative Practice Marin

CPM is a community of legal, mental health and financial professionals working together to create client-centered processes for resolving conflict.  We are located in Marin County, California. 

Why Collaborative Divorce?

“Divorce is never easy but the collaborative process made mine bearable.  I had more control and therefore less stress and anxiety because I had an active role.”

~JF

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